Working out

I really enjoy working out, but its getting harder and harder because of all of the things i need to do. So im always like, should i workout for two hours or study for seven. And it sucks that i have to put school work above things that help my health but thats just the traditional school system. I hate it though. It really affects your health, the amount of school work that needs to be done. I miss out on so much sleep and i forget to eat and cant workout because im so focused on studying. Its so important, in this day and age, to get A's and do good on tests, And i believe that its wrong that our school system has basically gotten rid of all creativity and it is guided by standardized tests. Kids do not thrive on that. Im learning in psych right now, that kids are intrinsically motivated to learn. People love to learn, i love to learn. But what comes along with learning in the school system, it makes you want to die. The light for learning slowly dies because our learning becomes memorizing what is going to be on the test to get good grades because that is the measurement of how smart you are. And its demeaning and makes people feel bad about themselves because their "not smart" in the eyes of standardized tests. I think the system needs to change, but for now life sucks. Ha, school sucks. I really wish i could learn more.

End of the year stress

College is hard, obviously. And it gets even worse towards the end of the semester. Finals arent even that bad, its just all of the assignments due at once. Right now, i have a research paper to finish, a theories of personality paper to right in its entirety, two anatomy quizzes, an anatomy test, a writing project, and 4 study guides to finish. The research paper is just about done, ill have on of my anatomy quizzes done this week. I have to turn in the research paper on sunday, work on my final anatomy study guide and hopefully finish it, study for my anatomy quiz while also studying for the overall test. This test is extremely important too, it could make or break my grade, so these last few exams in anatomy are essential to my grade. Then i need to do my psych final study guide, communications final study guide, and theology study guides. I also need to do this final writing project. Over  the weekend i need to do my theories paper, and hardcore study anatomy because that is so importnat. Then also study for psych. After that, its down hill, because my theology study guide would be done, and ill just need to study a small amount and same for communications and then im out of here. :)))))

What do you love? What do you want to do?

I love dance. I love my dogs. I love helping people. I love working with people in need. It makes me feel like im making a difference, though small. I love learning, new things, all things. I love my family.
I really dont know what i want to do. I know i want to work with people. I want to do something that i can make a difference and feel like i have some sort of purpose there. I dont like feeling stuck. I want to make relationships with people. I want to learn, all the time. I've always wanted to be a teacher. But i kind of threw that out because the money and benefits and growth opportunities just aren't there. Then i fell in love working with special needs. I did it all through high school and that is my favorite thing ive ever done. But again, i dont know how i could make that into a career. So right now im settled on nursing. I will get to learn all the time, I get to help people, and maybe at some point ill get to specifically work with special needs. I will get to spend time with my family, because with the money you make, i could work three 12 hours a week and be good to go. I get time to be with my family. My life will not revolve around work. I also have room to grow there, and change in that field. I could start my own business, i could go into athletic training. My ideal career right now is nurse practitioner with my own business specifically treating special needs. I would work along other specialists to help. But i still dont know where i want to be exactly. This just seems like the best fit for now.

Getting a new job

Having part time jobs in high school is kind of a blow off thing. You learn some responsibility and get a little money. But as you get older, jobs become more important, you can no longer just leave old jobs off your resume because you quit in an unprofessional way. Your employers reflection of you becomes much more meaningful. You NEED the money, its not to have a little extra. You NEED to succeed at the job, and keep it long term. You cant just quit when you get bored. You work more hours, not twice a week for 5 hours. As i transition into higher job levels, i see this. I'm preparing for m future career through my education right now. So in my free time, i need to be preparing for my career professionally. Getting work experience, used to having a boss and following orders and relying on the job for its benefits to get by. As you become older, it becomes more important for you to be able to function as an adult to have a job. Im personally estatic to have a job that isnt something im doing on the side of my everyday life. Its something im doing to save money up for important things in the future, adult things. My next job is one i need to keep until further notice. To save money, and have money to pay for school expenses. Also to be more independent and transition into the adult world.

Cancelled class

Having class cancelled is the best feeling i have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. It never happened in high school, but college is so different. You have a certain amount of individual classes per day. You make your schedule. If you have three classes a day. One at 8 am, and then one at 12 and one at 1. If your 8 am is cancelled, you dont even need to get to school until 5 hours later. That is an extra 5 hours of sleep. Or if your last class of the day is cancelled, you get to go home an hour early. Especially on fridays, it feels amazing. Even, if your middle class gets cancelled, its still great because its one less thing to worry about on our very busy assignment schedules. You have to actually go to class in college. In high school, you go to school and go from class to class. There's no way around it. In college, you have your classes, and in between you go to the library or back to your dorm. And then for your next class, you need to get back up and go to class again. So if you have to get up one less time for a day, it is a wonderful little reward.  For your middle class, you get sit around and relax for that hour now instead of sitting in class. You dont have to worry about notes, or assignments due the next class, (although professors usually still email you something to have done for the next class). It just feels really good to have one less obligation, one less thing to worry about. And its always a suprise, like your all ready to do all of your things and then you find out you have one less thing you have to do that day. Class being cancelled is very rare, but when it happens, you get to sleep inn or go home early, and boy does it feel great.

Picking topics

I have so much trouble picking topics every time i need to. Im in three writing classes right now. Every time a new paper comes around, it takes me a good 2 weeks to land on a topic. And even then im still not 100% sure. I always go back on it and am lie am i sure this is something i want to write about, this is a big paper. So more often than not, my topic is changed a few times before i start writing the paper. I have the most trouble in my communications class, because we have a deadline for when our topic has to be picked. And then we start writing. I always always want to change my topic like a week after finalizing it. Its also worse, because i have to speak about it in front of the class so i want my topic to be perfect. I want to be very interested in it and i want it to be something i can keep my audiences attention with. So thats something i struggle with, and theres been a few times where ive emailed my teacher after the deadline and asked to change my topic just because i dont like it. I also find myself having more and more trouble picking blog topics because im writing so many. But every once in a while i get a really good idea and its something i can just type and type about and it helps me get my thoughts out. But i do have those times where i have really no idea what i could possibly write about and i go around and ask people to give me a random topic. I have a lot of trouble in college writing picking a topic too because im just very indecisive. Its probably something i should learn to work on.

Hostile Work Enviornment

No matter your work ethic, if youre not working in a good environment, its impossible to get anything done. I get very easily distracted when im getting things done, I get even more distracted if their is a hostile environment. Example, my dad has this happen a lot to him. The people at his work can be kind of judgmental and get in fights with each other and this makes it hard for him to get his things done. People also experience this a lot when living on a college campus, or having roommates of any kind. You are trying to study but your roommates got something going on, or they're in a bad mood today, or they're fighting with another one of your roommates. It makes it very hard for you to get anything done. Your roommates are mad at each other and its a distraction because they're both venting to you and trying to get you to agree with them but you dont want to pick a side you just want to get your homework done. It creates a hostile surrounding and that's something that no one should have to function it. It's also much harder to function in. So my best advice, is leave. Avoid those people, avoid that environment because more than likely the work you are doing is very important and its not worth messing up because two people cant figure out their issues.

Why am i so cold?

I am always freezing. Year round. Ill be in the house with my family and everyone's complaining about how hot it is and im in sweatpants under two blankets. I really have no idea why. I dont know if i have a low fat content directly under my skin preventing insulation? But im not like underweight, i have meant on my bones. Ive always wondered if maybe i have an iron deficiency, but i was tested as a baby and the doctors said no. But i can never get warm and it really sucks. I love the heat. When we go to florida and its 95 degrees out, you'll find me in the hot tub. I just love the warmth, because i can never get warm on my own. I very rarely wear just a t shirt because ill be freezing within 15 minutes. I cling to heat whenever i can get it. I love taking baths for the warmth. In the winter (sometimes even summer), ill put on my heated blanket, go take a shower, lay on top of that, and then put my blanket and my comforter over top of me. In summer, ill walk around the house with a blanket wrapped around me and ill go sit outside on the deck like that. I'm just to cold to function without a blanket. But when i workout, i sweat, i get hot, so im not like incapable of getting ht. Its just 87% of my life, im freezing and everyone around me is warm.

Going vegetarian

For quite some time now, ive been thinking about switching over to a no meat diet. Possibly no animal product at all at some point. But thats another conversation, I really want to give it a shot. 1. I dont even really like meat anyway. 2. I figure, i know the way slaughter houses treat their animals is really bad, and if im not even a huge fan of meant, why am i supporting the meat industry at all? I've done some research to see just how bad slaughter houses are and i came across some very disturbing articles and videos and it only re-encouraged me to move forward with this new lifestyle. I feel like even though im only one person, im still making a difference. If one person a day were to switch over to a no meant lifestyle, eventually the meat industry would go out of business. Now im not an advocate for this lifestyle, because i know how important meat is to our bodies. I cant ask everyone to completley change the way they live. But if your worried about not getting enough protiens, eat eggs. They have all 20 amino acids. As do cereals and nuts together and legumes have some amino acids. There are still ways to get those nutrients. I just feel like this is the best option for me and im very excited to see how my body reacts to this new change. Im also even more excited to feel like im making a little bit of a difference.

Saying the wrong thing

Whenever your in a tense situation, it is very easy to say the wrong thing. I personally, tend to do this a lot. Sometimes you get mixed up in your thoughts and it comes out the wrong way. Then people tend to get mad at you and its hard to come back from that. You need to apologize but whats done is done, and whats said is already out there and its pretty hard to take that back. So depending on what you said or how you said it, that may affect your relationship for the remainder of it. I do this a lot with my mom and she does it to me, but we always have a way of talking it out in the end. But when something like this happens with a non family member, it is a lot harder to come back from. The main reason for this is that its much easier to walk away from. You dont have as much history as you would with a family member. It is inevitable that sometimes you will say the wrong thing. But the best way to handle it is to just get your tongue out of your mouth, apologize, and think before you speak.

Sentimental vacationing

Marathon key florida is an amazing place to vacation. Everyone needs a vacation at some point, to get away from everything and relax. In marathon key, you are right on the ocean and its very tropical. I have a lot of family memories there and its always amazing when we go back. The hotel we stay at is the same one my dad used to stay at 48 years ago, the same beach and everything. Its been renovated in the last 3 years, and its even more beautiful now. When you walk out of your hotel room you are standing on the beach. Theres also a pool, and open access to kayaks to go out on the ocean with. It holds so many memories for my family and now me, because ive been there twice now and we're going back this summer.

Couponing

My mom is a huge couponer. It all started when one day we were at target and a lady in front of us had a huge load. Her total was about 175$. She pulled out a wad of coupons and her total went down to 30$. From there, my mo started buying all the newpapers, she would have our friends and neighbors give their spare newspapers to her. She cut out all the coupons she thought might be useful and stored them in her little coupon box. She learned the tips and tricks and got really good. Now every time she grocery shops she uses it to her advantage. I think her largest savings was around 300$. Now shes not only using this info to save our family money on groceries, but shes teaching me how to do it to save money later in life, I've learned to combine coupons and save money on clothing, and things i like to buy. Its really great when you dont need to pay full price for something and it feels amazing when you get a deal. I get to use it to buy clothes and later in life, ill get to use it to buy food for my family. All thanks to my mom and her adorable interest in couponing.

Sleep

I feel like i have come to treasure sleep so much this year. I have gotten to a point where i rely on staying up late to get all of the things done, that i need to get done. And that sucks, but i genuinely dont have enough time. There were points last semester where i studied the entire night for a test, and then went to take the test. I didn't sleep at all. My "early" bedtime had become 2 am. The average was 4 am. And then winter break came along and i literally slept for 15 hours straight. I was actually dead. And then as school grew closer again, i had severe anxiety about having to go through that again. I eventually realized it didn't have to be like that. I needed to find a way to get everything done at a reasonable enough hour and not start the habit of going to bed at 6 am again. I still struggle with this a lot. But i realized that the later i stayed up, the worse i did on my tests. I would get to my test and just kind of blank. And i have never experienced that in my life. Usually i can take tests no problem. But taking tests was getting harder and harder for me. I was forgetting everything i had just gone over and i was not retaining ANY information. It was actually kindof scary how my mind was handling the lack of sleep.
So as of recently, ive been making sleep a bigger priority. I realized that losing sleep is not worth the grade. Its better to study earlier to get more sleep. I've been trying to catch up on sleep as much as possible so that when finals come around im ready. I know its ignorant to believe the last week or so of school ill be getting enough sleep but i'm hoping to do most of my work during the day, over the course of a few days as soon as i find out about an assignment to reduce my sleep dep.

Benefits of online classes

Sometimes your workload gets to be too much. So taking an online class becomes a viable option due to time issues. Especially college students with gen eds or commuters, it is so much more convenient to just take the class online.You don't need to drive all the way to school (for me- 30 mins) for some class that does not pertain to your major. Not that gen eds are not important, but sometimes when you have a full semester jam packed with super hard classes that require hours of studying, its easier to take a gen ed online. You still get the education but you do not have the added stress of the actual class.
Taking an online class can help lower stress levels. You dont have to worry about going to the class, you can learn from the comfort of your own home. When you do have classes, you can start later or get out earlier because you have one less class to attend. It helps you graduate on time, with a little bit of an easier and more purposeful workload. Also, most online classes get rid of some of the unnecessary junk you need to complete for the class. Such as classes that make you attend certain events outside of class for credit, that is taken away in online courses.
Also, it is less of a worry about who your professor is. You do not have to be lectured or even see your professor in person, so it doesn't matter if that professor has bad reviews on rate my professor.
So overall, the benefits of one online class a semester are to high to ignore.

Baking

I love to bake. I enjoy creating things and baking is a way to do this that is requires little artistic ability. It is just about formatting the ingredients in a way that will give the best end product. You can follow the recipe or alter it. I usually follow the recipe at first until i get used to the dessert. Then i change the ingredients to make it the best it could be. For example, i made brownies out of the box for years and they were never that great. They always hardened and became inedible. You want soft brownies, ya know. So i started using one less egg and that made the batter much thicker and kept the brownies completely soft. I also started adding a little vanilla extract to make them a little sweeter and to improve the generic flavor of boxed desserts. I also put semisweet chocolate chips in my brownies because they are so soft, it adds a little texture and the semisweet makes the brownies more rich. I much prefer baking over cooking probably because i think desserts are cute and i like making them for people.

Insecurities & Expectations

Lemme tell you, i got some issues with this. As does every girl my age, but i feel like its prominent enough i would like to vent my feelings out. 

I feel like women at held at such a higher standard and maybe its not even that, it that i hold myself at such a high standard in everything and dont give myself credit. If i have previously done something, even if the situation surrounding what i did was completely different, i expect myself to be able to come out with the same result. For example, i got straight A's all through high school, which i was proud of, but honestly it wasn't hard. I was in a few AP classes but other than that i had it pretty easy. So i expect straight A's in college, and it is a lot harder. But i cannot settle for anything less and i obsess over the fact that i need A's. I like need them to feel accomplished. Very few times do i feel proud of myself. I just have such high expectations for myself, and i dont know where they come from i just end up beating myself up if i dont reach those. Another example is when i was a junior in high school i was super skinny, i was very involved in dance and i had gone through like the brunt of my puberty and lost all of my baby fat at once. So needless to say, i was very skinny. And every time i see pictures from that i get upset at myself that im not at that state anymore. I work out often and ive gained much muscle since then so i dont even know how realistic it is that i could be that skinny anymore. But i want to get back there, i want to be like that again. My situation is so different and its not really possiIble for me to look exactly like that ever again but in my mind, ive looked like that before and i can do it again. 

I unfortunatley get so down on myself and i want to reach a certain standard that is nearly out of reach. And not reaching it makes me get more down on myself and in turn i can never really feel like im succeeding.                                              

The Hunting Ground

The Hunting Ground is recently released documentary centered on college campus rape. This is the whole basis of my research paper. It gave me the idea, and got me passionate about the whole topic. I didn't know much about it before but i did no that it was awful and something i might want to address because people just know what it is. They don't understand the causes, how its hidden and why it is so harmful. This documentary gave me basically all of this information. The way that it displayed all of this information was so powerful that it was impossible to not feel something. The movie is introduced by showing clips of families receiving the acceptance letter for their sons/daughters getting into their dream college. It was an extremely exciting time, the whole family was excited, the parents were proud and the students were ecstatic. Then the movie cuts to the first story and it is a girl saying "My first night at my dream college Notre Dame, i was raped." And from there it only gets worse. It talks about the colleges role in allowing this to continue to happen, athletics and fraternities and their role, how the offenders are usually repeated offenders, and finally the heart wrenching stories of the victims. The part about colleges lack of action towards preventing this from reoccurring is what really got me feeling some type of way about this and i can't help but think about it and be irate.

Lettuce sucks

People think lettuce is healthy for you, so they eat salads and get lettuce on burgers to improve their health. But in reality, lettuce has zero health benefits for humans. It has some vitamins, but few, and all that des is help synthesize nutrients. But in fact, lettuce is composed of a beta compound vs an alpha compound. Alpha is what the majority of our foods are made up of, easily digestible by humans. Beta foods are actually classified as "rabbit food." Much harder to digest.
So the best thing about lettuce are that is has NO nutritional value. So if you want something that fills you up but wont give you any of the bad nutrients, lettuce is a good choice. It fills you up with none of the negative effects. So in tat way, lettuce is beneficial. But it does not have direct health benefits. It does not make you healthier, it will just fill you up and you will eat less junk :))))

Boys have it easy

****Disclaimer- this is my angry rant about boys, not all of this may be true but as a woman who is angry at a male, this is what ive come up with****
Boys got it easy and i could talk about this for hours because it is crazy unfair how easy boys have it.
First off, lets talk about how the majority of them dont have to do anything t get ready in the morning, and if they do it is very optional or minimal. Second, they are so laid back and rarely have to deal with drama unless it is from a girl. Third, when it comes to relationships, most of the time they are the ones who have it easy. Girls freak out and worry over every little thing and guys dont even notice those little things, they do not over analyze. Next, guys do not have to deal with societal expectations. Like a women gaining a few pounds is a HUGE deal compared to a man. Women are more expected to look "perfect" and guys are allowed to slack. Finally, the whole "giving birth" thing. Guys do not have to experience ANY pain that comes with preparing for babies (internally) or the excruciating pain that comes with birthing a baby. They dont have these crazy hormones that make them super hungry when they shouldnt be, or make the cry over nothing. Frankly, it is unfair and i am not happy about it.

Pros/Cons of Music

Music is great in your free time, it brings out emotions when your feeling sad, it also gets you feeling good on an already good day. I like to listen to music based on the weather and my mood. If im sad, my music will reflect that, but if its a sunny day and im feeling good, my music will probably be something you could dance to. As a former dancer, music means a lot to me and i listen to it as much as i can. But my music also means something to me, its a way for me to get away and i dont know what i would do without it.
But when it comes to listening to music to study- i absolutely cannot. I know most people can, and it helps them focus. But i need my mind empty. If im studying or writing a paper, i access the deepest parts of my brain. I think of it like that one movie that recently came out where the main character learns we only use like 2% of our brain power and if we were able to access the rest, who knows what would happen. Well i think of it like, i know im intelligent. But to be the best i can be, i need to access all depths of my brain. The brain is a powerful thing. But when im listening to music, i cant do that. Pats of my brain are activated because f the music and im singing along in my head and i cant focus as deep anymore. I need silence to work to the best of my abilities. Which really sucks because that is nearly impossible, but i usually put in headphones and pretend im listening to music, but it keeps everything quiet and prevents people from disturbing me. Its great.

Dogs

If you have a dog, you know how loving dogs are. They change your life. Dogs make you want to be a better person and help you understand the importance of life.
A dogs life revolves around you. It is so much shorter than the human life and they experience so much less. The majority of what they experience is their owner. They love their owner, they are loyal to their owner and they would do anything for their owner. It really gives you someone to love. Dogs give you a purpose, someone is counting on you. They love you unconditionally and all they want in return is your attention.
Dogs also make you laugh. My dog likes to bark at things when you close them. Whenever someone closes a cabinet, he barks because he thinks he is being threatened. If you close a glasses case, its even worse. But we all laugh because its cute and we love him.
At night sometimes, my dog with jump into bed with me and lay up against my feet and put his head on my leg and look at me, and it melts my heart.
Dogs are honestly just the sweetest, most loving things. They are funny, they bring smiles to everyone's faces and they teach responsibility/ the value of life. If you do not have a dog, or are not a do person, i guarantee there is a dog out there that will make you change your mind.

How to handle your moms angry wrath

When i was a kid and my mom would get mad at me, she would usually yell at me and i would hide in my room the rest of the day because i didn't want her to yell at me again. Most often, i would cry too. Then i got older, and when she would fight with me, i would fight back and we would but heads and not talk for a few days. It was a teenage daughter- mother relationship. And i wasn't okay with not talking to her so i would apologize first, all the time. That helped. Now if i fight with my mother, i just nod and agree, and tell her she is right. What i've learned from all of this is the sure fire way to handle your mothers angry wrath.
She yells at you, do not interrupt, let her yell. When shes done, say something along the lines of, "you know, i understand now that you've explained it and im sorry," she may be happy with that, or depending on how her day is gone, she may yell more. If she yells more, let her go. Then calmly agree with her again and explain why what you did was wrong. Tell her you love her, and when the conversation is over, leave. Hide out elsewhere for a little bit. When you come back, hug and kiss her. Although, shes usually happy again with the "i love you."

Post Absorptive and Absorptive Metabolism States

Absorptive state of metabolizing is the act of being fed. It is when you are feeding your body and it is synthesizing the nutrients into things your body can use.
Post- Absorptive state of metabolizing is when your body is fasting. After a few hours of eating when everything is synthesized. You're body is getting less nutrients from the food, so it needs to get nutrients from itself. It starts the process of catabolism, which is the breakdown of nutrients into smaller intermediate parts to use for the body.

In absorptive state, the body starts by using glucose as the major energy source. It is either converted into glycogen or fat (both of which can be stored in the body). In this state, two major nutrients can be synthesized. Lipids and proteins. For lipids, the body starts by using lipase (a protein thats function is to break apart lipids) to hydrolyze (break down) lipids in muscle and fat tissues. You are left with glycerol and fatty acids and those are converted into triglycerides for storage. Then the triglycerides are used by adipose (fat) tissue, liver, and skeletal and cardiac muscle as a primary energy source. For proteins, excess amino acids are deanimated (over abundance of proteins leads to break down) and used for ATP (energy) synthesis, or stored as fat in the liver. But most amino acids are used to re-synthesize proteins. All of this is controlled by the hormone insulin- its primary function is to lower blood glucose level (hypoglycemic hormone)

In Post absorptive state, the body makes glucose available to the blood and promotes use of fats for energy. The main goal here is to maintain blood glucose level in between meals. First th body will go through what is called glycogenolysis. This is glycogen breakdown. Glycogen is the first substance broken down in times of fasting. First the body takes glycogen from the liver, then skeletal muscle. If that runs out, the body will start to break down fat (lipolysis) in adipose tissues and the liver. Glycerol is used for glucogenesis (use of a non carbohydrate to form glucose- the main energy source). If we run out of fats - which at this point the body is in severe danger of organ failure, fat holds organs in place and helps insulate them- then lastly we breakdown proteins. This is the last step, muscle begins to break down. All of this is controlled by the hormone glucagon- its primary function is to raise blood glucose lever (hyperglycemic hormone)