Working out

I really enjoy working out, but its getting harder and harder because of all of the things i need to do. So im always like, should i workout for two hours or study for seven. And it sucks that i have to put school work above things that help my health but thats just the traditional school system. I hate it though. It really affects your health, the amount of school work that needs to be done. I miss out on so much sleep and i forget to eat and cant workout because im so focused on studying. Its so important, in this day and age, to get A's and do good on tests, And i believe that its wrong that our school system has basically gotten rid of all creativity and it is guided by standardized tests. Kids do not thrive on that. Im learning in psych right now, that kids are intrinsically motivated to learn. People love to learn, i love to learn. But what comes along with learning in the school system, it makes you want to die. The light for learning slowly dies because our learning becomes memorizing what is going to be on the test to get good grades because that is the measurement of how smart you are. And its demeaning and makes people feel bad about themselves because their "not smart" in the eyes of standardized tests. I think the system needs to change, but for now life sucks. Ha, school sucks. I really wish i could learn more.

End of the year stress

College is hard, obviously. And it gets even worse towards the end of the semester. Finals arent even that bad, its just all of the assignments due at once. Right now, i have a research paper to finish, a theories of personality paper to right in its entirety, two anatomy quizzes, an anatomy test, a writing project, and 4 study guides to finish. The research paper is just about done, ill have on of my anatomy quizzes done this week. I have to turn in the research paper on sunday, work on my final anatomy study guide and hopefully finish it, study for my anatomy quiz while also studying for the overall test. This test is extremely important too, it could make or break my grade, so these last few exams in anatomy are essential to my grade. Then i need to do my psych final study guide, communications final study guide, and theology study guides. I also need to do this final writing project. Over  the weekend i need to do my theories paper, and hardcore study anatomy because that is so importnat. Then also study for psych. After that, its down hill, because my theology study guide would be done, and ill just need to study a small amount and same for communications and then im out of here. :)))))

What do you love? What do you want to do?

I love dance. I love my dogs. I love helping people. I love working with people in need. It makes me feel like im making a difference, though small. I love learning, new things, all things. I love my family.
I really dont know what i want to do. I know i want to work with people. I want to do something that i can make a difference and feel like i have some sort of purpose there. I dont like feeling stuck. I want to make relationships with people. I want to learn, all the time. I've always wanted to be a teacher. But i kind of threw that out because the money and benefits and growth opportunities just aren't there. Then i fell in love working with special needs. I did it all through high school and that is my favorite thing ive ever done. But again, i dont know how i could make that into a career. So right now im settled on nursing. I will get to learn all the time, I get to help people, and maybe at some point ill get to specifically work with special needs. I will get to spend time with my family, because with the money you make, i could work three 12 hours a week and be good to go. I get time to be with my family. My life will not revolve around work. I also have room to grow there, and change in that field. I could start my own business, i could go into athletic training. My ideal career right now is nurse practitioner with my own business specifically treating special needs. I would work along other specialists to help. But i still dont know where i want to be exactly. This just seems like the best fit for now.

Getting a new job

Having part time jobs in high school is kind of a blow off thing. You learn some responsibility and get a little money. But as you get older, jobs become more important, you can no longer just leave old jobs off your resume because you quit in an unprofessional way. Your employers reflection of you becomes much more meaningful. You NEED the money, its not to have a little extra. You NEED to succeed at the job, and keep it long term. You cant just quit when you get bored. You work more hours, not twice a week for 5 hours. As i transition into higher job levels, i see this. I'm preparing for m future career through my education right now. So in my free time, i need to be preparing for my career professionally. Getting work experience, used to having a boss and following orders and relying on the job for its benefits to get by. As you become older, it becomes more important for you to be able to function as an adult to have a job. Im personally estatic to have a job that isnt something im doing on the side of my everyday life. Its something im doing to save money up for important things in the future, adult things. My next job is one i need to keep until further notice. To save money, and have money to pay for school expenses. Also to be more independent and transition into the adult world.

Cancelled class

Having class cancelled is the best feeling i have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. It never happened in high school, but college is so different. You have a certain amount of individual classes per day. You make your schedule. If you have three classes a day. One at 8 am, and then one at 12 and one at 1. If your 8 am is cancelled, you dont even need to get to school until 5 hours later. That is an extra 5 hours of sleep. Or if your last class of the day is cancelled, you get to go home an hour early. Especially on fridays, it feels amazing. Even, if your middle class gets cancelled, its still great because its one less thing to worry about on our very busy assignment schedules. You have to actually go to class in college. In high school, you go to school and go from class to class. There's no way around it. In college, you have your classes, and in between you go to the library or back to your dorm. And then for your next class, you need to get back up and go to class again. So if you have to get up one less time for a day, it is a wonderful little reward.  For your middle class, you get sit around and relax for that hour now instead of sitting in class. You dont have to worry about notes, or assignments due the next class, (although professors usually still email you something to have done for the next class). It just feels really good to have one less obligation, one less thing to worry about. And its always a suprise, like your all ready to do all of your things and then you find out you have one less thing you have to do that day. Class being cancelled is very rare, but when it happens, you get to sleep inn or go home early, and boy does it feel great.

Picking topics

I have so much trouble picking topics every time i need to. Im in three writing classes right now. Every time a new paper comes around, it takes me a good 2 weeks to land on a topic. And even then im still not 100% sure. I always go back on it and am lie am i sure this is something i want to write about, this is a big paper. So more often than not, my topic is changed a few times before i start writing the paper. I have the most trouble in my communications class, because we have a deadline for when our topic has to be picked. And then we start writing. I always always want to change my topic like a week after finalizing it. Its also worse, because i have to speak about it in front of the class so i want my topic to be perfect. I want to be very interested in it and i want it to be something i can keep my audiences attention with. So thats something i struggle with, and theres been a few times where ive emailed my teacher after the deadline and asked to change my topic just because i dont like it. I also find myself having more and more trouble picking blog topics because im writing so many. But every once in a while i get a really good idea and its something i can just type and type about and it helps me get my thoughts out. But i do have those times where i have really no idea what i could possibly write about and i go around and ask people to give me a random topic. I have a lot of trouble in college writing picking a topic too because im just very indecisive. Its probably something i should learn to work on.

Hostile Work Enviornment

No matter your work ethic, if youre not working in a good environment, its impossible to get anything done. I get very easily distracted when im getting things done, I get even more distracted if their is a hostile environment. Example, my dad has this happen a lot to him. The people at his work can be kind of judgmental and get in fights with each other and this makes it hard for him to get his things done. People also experience this a lot when living on a college campus, or having roommates of any kind. You are trying to study but your roommates got something going on, or they're in a bad mood today, or they're fighting with another one of your roommates. It makes it very hard for you to get anything done. Your roommates are mad at each other and its a distraction because they're both venting to you and trying to get you to agree with them but you dont want to pick a side you just want to get your homework done. It creates a hostile surrounding and that's something that no one should have to function it. It's also much harder to function in. So my best advice, is leave. Avoid those people, avoid that environment because more than likely the work you are doing is very important and its not worth messing up because two people cant figure out their issues.